"You've had the sh*t kicked out of you this year," my friend Margo told me last week.

My eyes welled up as I thought about it.

Yeah, it's been a wild year. In January, I couldn't walk without collapsing.

A month later, I'd be scheduled for spine surgery, and I'd take another two months off of work to recover. The summer was all about rebuilding and reconnecting. Laying the foundation again. Growing my team.

In so many ways, this hasn't been at all the year I thought it would be...

Anyone else feel that way?

Sometimes life can bring quite a thrashing, and it's often unexpected and messy.

"But what I admire about you," she said next, "Is that you find a way to hold onto joy."

Holding onto joy.

There it is.

That's what we need when the ride starts to get a little wild.

The next part of the year, Q4, is often the bumpiest for a lot of folks.

Not only is it the end of the year, it’s also a time of religious celebration and familial traditions. Which means days off of work, family up close and center, often with increased drama. Plus the holiday season often brings reminders of where we've come from, and sometimes reminders of what we're missing. Parenting is full-on, school is out, kids are sick, and patience is wearing thin.

And that’s all before we log onto the news, or social media, and deal with chaos at an ever-increasing scale. Layer onto this an election cycle year in the US, and it’s a doozy.

It’s a lot.

So what do we do? Aside from hold on for the ride... we need to:

Find a way to hold onto joy.

In the chaos, hold onto micro-moments of joy.

This season, there are a lot of factors outside of our control. It can help to turn some of your attention to what is within your control.

Where are there pockets of light, laughter, joy, or celebration? Where can you find a moment of beauty? It doesn't have to be big.

As we wind down into the last sixty days of the year, here's the wisdom I'll invite you to hold onto:

Find something small that can bring you joy on a regular basis.

The key is to make it something you can do even when the kids are home.

Even when you have that just-after-Thanksgiving cold that won't quit.

Even when you're anxiously waiting for news.

What can cut through the stress to still bring you a sliver of joy?

There are just over 60 days left in the year.

Is there something you can do twenty times, or forty times, to bring yourself a moment of sweetness? Is there a ritual or a pattern you can find?

Here are some ideas:

• Text a nice thing to someone every day, or leave kind comments sprinkled around the web
• Draw or doodle in a sketchbook
• Write letters on real paper
• Work on a beginner embroidery kit — a stitch per day
• Knit or crochet something small
• Delete social media from your phone for 60 days
• Replace it with something fun, like a crossword app or the finch self-care app.

My sister draws doodles, and I've been known to bake bread, sew quilts, and make window monsters as part of my grown-up arts and crafts time.

20/40/60

Over the next two months, can you...

Do twenty little tiny things to spark joy in your life,

Create forty moments of kindness to make life a little sweeter for yourself and someone else...

And, over sixty days, see how often you can delight in little moments of joy?

Here's the thing about joy

Joy is also fuel.

We've all heard that eating well, sleeping, and exercising help us maintain our energy for life.

But we also need to do things that make us laugh, too.

Joy is a renewable resource, and re-filling your joy reserves can maybe even bring you more energy than a plate of chicken and broccoli.

Here's to finding tiny joy, even during seasons of chaos.

PS: My back has recovered, and while I'm still in physical therapy for a while longer, I'm also able to swim and bike again, and I've been cleared to do almost everything. This year has been unexpected, to say the least. Thank you for all of you who checked in! I'll be posting another update on Substack for those of you who have been following along on the journey. Thank you to Margo, Pooja, Tara, Beth, and everyone who took over the newsletter the months while I was gone, and thank you to Ashley, Alex, and Pavla for joining the team and helping me strengthen the team foundations. And to all of the stunning women in The Wise Women's Council who carried our program during the weeks I was away. You're the best.

PPS: This cycle of The Wise Women's Council, our leadership incubator, is brimming with strong, powerful, wise women leaders and I am thrilled to get to welcome our next cohort. We start together on November 7th. If you missed the deadline and you want to apply to be on the waitlist, do submit an application — we'll notify you if a spot opens up.

For all of those who applied, thank you. It's an honor to get to know you. Everyone who applied should have received a separate email about your application by now. If you haven't, email director(at)startupparent(dot)com.

Want to join WWC in 2025? If you're looking for a group of wise women to journey with over the year ahead, apply to join us, here. Our next cohort starts in early 2025. Send in your application today.

Want to see a messy house? Come right on over...