CEO of Wise Women’s Council, growing women’s leadership and power. Host of The Startup Parent Podcast. 20-time NCAA All-American. It’s time to do things differently . Come join my newsletter.
Thoughts on 'trying to do it all'
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Thoughts on December and trying to ‘do it all’ Hi friends, December always feels like a paradox. The world is winding down and somehow speeding up at the same time. On the one hand, my body wants warm light, early evenings, cozy dinners, the soft quiet of winter. On the other, my inbox looks like Times Square, my calendar keeps filling, and the urgency machine hums louder than ever. Maybe you feel it too: the tension between wanting to rest and feeling like you can’t yet. And the fact that if you also have kids, you’re probably facing several weeks without school or childcare, AND you’re the force behind the “holiday magic.” How do you run a business, manage the holidays, AND keep yourself, well, alive? This is one of the core leadership challenges no one tells you about. Not the strategy, not the planning, not the systems — but the internal negotiation between your energy and your expectations. Between what life is demanding from you, what family or children or relatives want, what your work is asking from you, your side hustles, your projects, your friends — AND... your limits as a human being who needs rest, sleep, and downtime. Figuring out how to slow down while also humming along is an art. Today's email is about finding ways to slow down amidst the bustle. Here’s what I’ve been practicing: ✨ 1. Decide what’s “enough” before the month decides for you.Instead of cramming December with unrealistic goals, pick one or two things that truly matter. Call it done when those are done. Complete the essentials; release the rest. This isn’t laziness — it’s leadership. And the real-real work of leadership is actually stopping when you're done with that one thing. OLD WAY OF WORKING: Saying yes to everything, trying to do it all, pushing through exhaustion, gritting your teeth. Adding more to your plate when it comes up. Not stopping when you said you would stop.
NEW WAY OF DOING THINGS: Deciding that December is about [pick 1-2 things] and practicing new norms for you and your family.
Also, if you need a "NO MORE THINGS" badge that you can print out and stick to your computer, let me know and I'll make one for you. ✨ 2. Practice seasonal leadership.Winter does not need to be a productivity season (unless you want it to be). It’s really good for being a reflection season or an incubation season. It's a great season for writing a bit more, or even spending two weeks watching an entire series of television, cozy on the couch. If you’re feeling slower, more contemplative, or less shiny right now — that is your biology, your nervous system, and thousands of years of human patterning doing their thing. Allow your goals match the season you’re in — not the one capitalism demands. EXAMPLE: One person I know decided that the rest of December would ONLY be about moving her family into their new, shared, multi-generational home. “Every time I think I should add something to the list, I have to catch myself and say, ‘no, December is just about moving. That’s it.’” You know who else is really good at seasonal leadership? Parents. I love it when I see the out-of-inbox responders that say, "I'm working half-time hours," or "My schedule might not match yours," or "I'm away for maternity/paternity leave and I won't see any of these emails until I get back." These parents are changing culture, one auto-responder at a time. The more we all do it (even if you're not a parent!), the more we fight back against unhinged workplaces. ✨ 3. Allow yourself to say no.With all the holiday cards, end-of-year parties, and family plans, it’s easy to get swept up into trying to do it all. This is a gentle reminder that you are allowed to say no, whenever you want, as much as you need. SCRIPT YOU CAN STEAL: The simplest way to say no is to say “Thank you so much for thinking of me, but I’m not going to be able to.” You can edit it however you want, like, I’m slowing down this December, I need to keep more white space on my calendar, my schedule is already too full, it’s not the right fit for me, etc.
You don't have to print, mail, and send holiday cards. You could send a text. Or send them every two years. (Or not at all 😁) ✨ 4. Build a buffer of warmth.A wise woman once told me: “When your schedule gets too full, increase the warmth, not the pace.” This month I’m intentionally adding small, soft things:
None of these fix the world — but they fix the feeling of being in it. Five minutes of softness can change your entire day from crushed to exhaling. PRACTICE: Let yourself sit in the car and breathe for two minutes before you go out to swoop up your kids. End the zoom call 10 minutes early so you can do a downward dog stretch for a few moments. Let yourself be a human being.You're a human being who is allowed to be tired. You're allowed to do less. You don't have to hold the whole house together. The holiday season doesn't have to be perfect. What I’m remembering (again and again) is that leadership isn’t about holding everything perfectly. It’s about gently returning to yourself, even in the mess. (Especially in the mess.) If you’re in the push–pull of December, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing it like a human. xo — Sarah
To be fair, this year I did make myself a bit busier than normal this December— I'm running a Holiday Special on Founders With Kids, as well as teaching a new live training on Running Your Own Masterminds coming up in January — so, yeah, I'm busy this year, but it's on purpose. What you don't see is how often I'm napping, take rest breaks on the floor, and going outside to feel the weather, even if it's icy cold.
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SARAH K PECK
CEO of Wise Women’s Council, growing women’s leadership and power. Host of The Startup Parent Podcast. 20-time NCAA All-American. It’s time to do things differently . Come join my newsletter.